Are you comfortable being yourself in all situations? If you’re like most people, you’re 90% yourself when you’re with close friends, 50% yourself with casual acquaintances, and hide from strangers. Being your true self in all settings and situations is scary but ultimately empowering and relaxing. Imagine the relief you’ll experience.
Getting to a place where you no longer worry about the perceptions of others. You can just be yourself and feel satisfied with that.
Be yourself and take back control of your life:
Meditate. This is my personal favorite for changing the state I’m in. Meditation quiets the part of you that judges and labels everything around you. Gain some insight into the real you by meditating regularly.
Tell the truth. When you’re truthful, you reveal yourself. Be honest about your mistakes and shortcomings.
Be unique. The authentic you isn’t exactly like everyone else. What music do you listen to when you’re alone? How do you dress? Do you keep the unique parts to yourself, or are you willing to share them with the world?
Notice your crutches and get rid of them. Rocky road ice cream? Mindless internet surfing? A double vanilla café latte? Using crutches to deal with boredom, anxiety, or uncertainty is blocking you from seeing the truth.
- What is the purpose of a particular crutch? Stop using it and see for yourself.
Examine the areas in your life that feel inauthentic. When and where do you feel like you lack authenticity? Often it will be during interactions with strangers, first dates, new social experiences, and more formal occasions.
- A lack of authenticity can also occur when you spend time with your parents and siblings. They don’t seem to want you to change, so you fall back into your old roles.
- Think about the times you’re inauthentic and ask yourself why.
Spend your time on things you enjoy. What do you really love doing, and time seems to fly? Do you play in the softball league so you’ll fit in? Would you instead want to be taking rumba lessons? Spend your free time on the things that you’re most passionate about.
Do one thing you want to do but are afraid to try. The people at the office might laugh if you take up the cello or take an acting class. However, secretly, they’ll be jealous that you have the nerve to do something unconventional. Everyone you know is stifled and bored. You can rise above all of that.
Give your opinion. Not necessarily all of the time, but give your opinion if it won’t hurt anyone. Are you going to see a movie with some friends? Tell them the movie you’d most like to see. The family wants to go to the public pool or the park? Let your opinion be known. Does the wife want to know if she looks fat in her dress? Be smart.
Get outside. Especially in the morning and at dusk, so you reset your circadian rhythm. The artificial lighting we live in disrupts our natural sleeping patterns if you only go from one artificial environment to another. You can’t see the sun, hear the birds, or feel the grass beneath your feet. Get yourself into a more natural environment, and you’ll find it easier to be authentic.
Strengthen your boundaries. Where your boundaries are weak, your true self is being smothered. These are the places we allow others to determine the rules and set the frame. You’ll know these places by the high amounts of energy they drain from you.
Overcome your need to fit in and impress others. No matter what you do, some people will be impressed, and others won’t. Why worry about it? You’re a fantastic person. Allow yourself to be that person each and every day.